This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse

Sports Illustrated had a column about ironic signs of the times. Why can't Skippy?

"President Emeritus Clyde Cook Receieves Honorary Doctorate from APU"

Santa Claus is Coming to Town

We wanted to end our semester together with a bang -- perhaps a trip to the Disney Concert Hall or some other downtown L.A. venue. Unfortunately, life got in the way -- in the form of a 5-page paper for my Marine Mammals class and some extensive packing.

So we went on a whirlwind trip of La Mirada instead, finding as many inflatable Santas and/or polar bear wannabe Santas) as possible. And good news -- we successfully completed the mission without provoking any responses from local chapters of the Neighborhood Watch.

Meet the 2008 Audi A5

Thank you, readers, for helping us make the difficult decision of choosing a future replacement for my 2000 Ford Taurus. You have chosen wisely -- Audis have always topped Gail and my wish list.

Below are some triumphant shots of the glorious Audi A5. Keep in mind that the pictures will probably not be an accurate representation of our prospective vehicle. According to our calculations, it's going to take us approximately 16 years to write enough Chimes articles to buy this thing. By then, we'll probably opt for the model with wings.

Our LUCKY DAY!!!!!!!!

Gail and I had pretty much the luckiest day of our young lives.

The day started out with Gail keeled over, blow-drying her hair upside down and me stressing out about a Spanish assignment. Suddenly, my pink Chocolate phone joined the cacaphony with its grating ring.

Definitely an inconvenience. Especially when the screen read "Restricted Number."

But alas, I answered it. It turned out to be Pam from the Dow Jones Newspaper Fund. I had applied for an internship last month, and Pam was calling to see if I would accept it!!!

I couldn't believe it. I started waving frantically at Gail as she furiously typed away at her computer. She knew the drill. Only an internship could make a resident of room 212 so ecstatic.

Sure enough, I committed right then and there -- to an 11-week paid summer internship sponsored by the Dow Jones Fund and Yahoo News. I will be editing online content at, of all places, South Dakota's premiere newspaper -- the Argus Leader -- in Sioux Falls.

Random location, but I am so thrilled about it that throughout the day, I have spontaneously burst into joyful hysterics.

As if the day couldn't get any better, I received a phone call from Gail during my Torrey session. Unfortunately, one is not advised to answer calls during a session, so Gail persisted with three more calls.

When I finally walked back into room 212, I was met with none other than Gail -- in her own set of hysterics.

It turns out that she received a friendly little note in her email inbox this afternoon -- from one of the WORLD'S BEST PR FIRMS!!!! It was one of her dream internships ... and now they're knocking on her door inviting her for an interview. If accepted, she would work with clients like Universal Studios Home Entertainment / HD-DVD.

Needless to say, today was our lucky day. Gail has yet to confirm her interview and dream internship with Weber Shandwick, but the possibility is "thrilling," she says.

And we ended our day off with a Ho-ho-Horton all hall event, in which we got to sing Christmas carols. One particular verse stood out:

"We come to make His blessings known, far as the curse is found, far as the
curse is found, far as the curse is found."

I think that will be our theme phrase for these internships...

Choose a replacement for Michelle's 2000 Ford Taurus

Mazda 6Audi A5
Lexus SC 430
Mercedes E-Class

Santa Baby

Thank you, dear readers, for your voting diligence.

The results are in on this week's poll, which addressed what Gail and Michelle ought to expect under the Christmas tree this year. In descending order, readers thought we need:

1. Matching penguin pajamas (or at least something better than Abercrombie & Fitch boxers)
2. Airfare to Seattle
3. A new digital camera (one that won't delete photos of Jenna, Rebecca and I with the biggest journalistic celebrity we've ever encountered)
4. One pair of socks to share
5. Lump of coal (one spiteful reader thought so)

The Health and Fitness Column

It's been a great semester with the Chimes -- especially the chance to write my very own health and fitness column, since I'm such an expert in the field anyway.

Gail, who typically assists me in choosing a subject for health and fitness, was throwing around some ideas for my final column EVER (since I'll be going to Costa Rica next semester). Here were our top 8 ideas.

1. Ingrown toenails: how to cure the problem with just a switchblade and scalpel

2. Warts: treatments involving duct tape (Gail has firsthand experience here)

3. Halitosis: alternative breathing techniques to use after garlic fries

4. Mono: how to save your relationship when you've got the kissing disease

5. Athlete's foot: how to put the fun back in fungus

6. Psoriasis: learn to embrace your chronic skin disorder by going sleeveless

7. "Bacne" (back+acne): hints for bacne-friendly swimwear

8. Lice: advanced dorm fumigation techniques

Club Intrepid

When you're squashed like sardines in the back of your brother's Dodge Intrepid and Fall Out Boy is on max volume, you have but one option -- DANCE.

This is how me, David (my bro Ryan's friend) and Gail pass the time during a 7 hour drive back to So Cal.

Homemade Slingshot

Michelle shot her first gun (see earlier post) and this is me shooting my first rock over the Sierras with a homemade nylon string.

Kaplan Word Power

On the way up to Michelle's grandparents' house we decided to kill time by learning vocabulary words from the R (for Rindels) section of the Kaplan Word Power book left over from Michelle's SAT studying days. We practiced by making up sentences about our surroundings.

The repartee in the minivan was spirited though slightly recondite. The recalcitrant boys in the back seat were reticent to participate, but rather exposed themselves as raffish reprobates. In this area, the boys are likely to be ribald recidivists. We got through one section of the redoubtable book before the hunger for Thanksgiving meal routed our concentration and we fell into a state of quiescence.

Michelle and the .22

The SoCal college kids piled into Ryan's white car (along with their dirty laundry) and headed upstate to the Rindel abode and cold weather to do as many NorCal things as possible. One of these things was shooting a gun at a rusty can. This is Michelle's first time shooting a .22 and I must say she did very well. Sit down? Heck no. She snuggled up to the hilt like a true hillbilly. She didn't hit the can--but out of 25 shots, no one else got anything either, so no shame there.

Battle of the Push-ups

Ryan (my brother) challenged Gail to a push-up competition. Now, as I've previously mentioned, Gail has been training for moments like these all semester. So when the heat was on before Thanksgiving dinner, she was successfully able to give Ryan a run for his money. Was it because Ryan did five separate workouts the day before. Psh. That's what he thinks....

Lizards, Gel and Sexy

After a painfully hilarious conversation, Michelle and I have compiled a short list of our favorite fashion pet peeves. Girls, if you can't bring yourself to confront your brother or boyfriend on their fashion crimes, just send them this way.

1.) Lizard Hunting Sandals
You've probably heard that sandals and socks are uncool. Michelle and I are going to take it a step further and make things bit more specific and simple: just don't wear these kind of sandals, period. We don't know what they're called, so we've dubbed them the "lizard hunting sandals" because they're definitely for nature nerds. Common offenders for this one tend to be very stubborn and/or hopeless.

2.) More hair gel=more sexy

At least that's what this guy seems to think.

Considering the fact that the Mexican population is still increasing in the States, I am seriously considering investing in hair gel as it appears it is (still) quite popular in the Hispanic male population. While I'm looking forward to my guaranteed fortune, there are some drawbacks that only a full force grassroots campaign can correct.

Drawbacks:
1.) It looks greasy and dirty while at the same time making your head look disproportionately large (see left photo). I suppose this could be similar to when male birds fluff out their feathers to appear larger in their mating dances.
2.) The "I heart hair gel" look definitely diminishes chances of someone (anyone) running their fingers through your hair.
3.) You could lose your job. A dude named John Graham got suspended from his job at the London airport for using too much hair gel.

Michelle's interjection: a bit of gel is a very good thing. As seen below, a dab can significantly improve a gentleman's prospects with a lady and simultaneously contribute to his marksmanship.

3.) A beard is worth a thousand words

Beards are basically billboards that can communicate one of two things: a) Yes, I still spend less money on cosmetics than my girlfriend or b) Maybe if I just grow a distinguished beard, nobody will notice that I haven't applied deodorant in 3 days.

A beard done right is a rare thing indeed, although the New York Times seems to think it's the latest and greatest way to assert masculinity against a wave of metro fashions.

Keep in mind, however, that the beard may not be the best policy among the ladies. I'll let this Psychology Today article excerpt speak to that:

Our results reflected the current cultural preference for clean-shaven
faces. Sixty percent of male respondents were cleanshaven, 21 percent had a
mustache only, 19 percent had a beard and mustache. Less than 1 percent had a
beard without a mustache.
Men guessed correctly that women would prefer clean-shaven men. Yet while only 14 percent of women overall named "beard with
mustache" as their first choice, 55 percent of women whose partner had a beard
ranked it first. Once again, women may have brought their judgment in line with
their partner.
Most of the comments about facial hair were about beards, and
the positive ones were about neatly trimmed beards. Women tended to associate poorly groomed or neglected beards with generalized slovenliness. The goatee was singled out for derision.

Surf Report: Pandora

Pandora: A box worth opening
In Greek mythology, Pandora was the first woman. On the Web, Pandora is, in my opinion, the first worthwhile music source to go to for easy listening. It's basically a radio station without all the commercials--and you get to choose what you want to listen to.

How it works: Just type in your favorite music artist and Pandora will match it with similar artists according to style and sound. You can personalize your "stations" by giving specific songs a thumbs up or down. I love that it introduces me to artists that are similar to the stuff I already know I like. Pandora is my favorite discovery this semester (closely followed by the alt + tab function epiphany).

And now a quote from our most valued critic. Michelle says, " It's the Merlin of music sites. It knows exactly what I want before I know I want it."

Mr. Biola 2007

As democratic citizens, Gail and I are firm believers in the visibility of the government. That is precisely why Skippy is sponsoring the first annual Mr. Biola pageant. We encourage our readers to vote in our poll to indicate their favorite senator. If you are not acquainted with the senators, please do not hesitate to vote for superficial reasons.
The candidates, in order of appearance, are:
Senator Haws
Senator Martina
Senator Chacon
Senator Towson (on the right)
Senator Strawsburg
Senator Mitchell
Senator Salcedo

Wipe Out

Apologies for our extended absence on Skippy. This could be attributed to 1) the fact that Gail and I have been on the East Coast as of late, conferencing it up; 2) the fact that my camera direly needs to be replaced and 3) the fact that we've been swamped with work recently and have had few opportunities for blog/video-worthy excursions.

Nevertheless, the polls are open and we thank you, reader, for voting. After jumping off the blocks for an early lead, Gail pulled ahead in the rankings. Apparently, readers believe that Gail has 350% greater chance of owning me in a fight. We're still not exactly sure why readers were so adamant about this, despite the fact that Gail is most assuredly a carnivore and thus has a significant muscle-mass advantage over Michelle. Oh, and the fact that she's in a weight-training class.

Still, Gail turned down my challenge for a real matchup. Sorry guys, maybe next time.

All for the sake of the Fund

Gail and I are considering starting up a scholarship fund with the intention of promoting Biola's journalism department. A $3,000 per year renewable scholarship, we hope the "McCurry Prize for Excellence in Journalism" will attract top notch recruits into the department.

Though our current funds consist of a paltry $66 (which we actually wanted to spend on a trip to Seattle), our dear friend Dustin, namesake of the scholarship, has graciously obliged to help fund the Fund, since he is anticipating a massive cash windfall once he graduates with a biochem degree.

I've drafted a logo for the fund. Comments and/or suggestions are welcomed.

Ready for takeoff

Gail has officially departed from Room 212 for a national PR conference in which she will be networking like a maniac... which means, for the next few days, I'll be tending to Skippy without her. Just thought I'd update. And be sure to vote Michelle in this week's poll. That is all.

The readers have spoken

Thank you, readers, for weighing in with your predictions as to our future wedding dates. Your opinions matter greatly to us (you've pretty much already told us we're going to Chicago over Christmas break and that we can't be pastors unless we're over women and children).

Here is the breakdown:

Michelle: Readers strongly agreed that Michelle would tie the knot at the age of 26, after spending time in the career world but before e-Harmony starts lookin' good.

Gail: Readers overwhelmingly concurred that Gail will wed at the age of 28, after a venture as a PR professional, before she starts asking "what's wrong?" but considerably after a posited elopement next month.

That said, we're currently looking into furniture that will work for the house we will likely share until the year 2014. Gail also volunteered to bust open her hope chest so we can use the nice china ... it's going to be awhile.

Meanwhile, we've got some big plans for our future together. Details forthcoming.

Mishaps in Room 212

Mishap #1: After Gail noticed an odiferous scent wafting from my beloved fountain, she took matters quickly into her own hands. What better way to deodorize a faux fountain than to pour in a cupful of laundry detergent?

Once the abundant foam had bubbled over its bowl and successfully damaged Gail's copy of the AP Stylebook, we realized that the idea wasn't as brilliant as we once thought.

And I quote: "Oops." -- Gail Patches.

Mishap #2: After the Horton Slip 'n' Slide (see post below), there were a few leftovers -- namely a giant case of Lay's original potato chips. Gail decided to bring it back to the room, presumably to sell it, but we were stopped by the words along the side of the packaging that read "Not for Resale." Dangit. So the chips have been guilty pleasures over the past few days as we try to cope with this week's very difficult commitment: giving up sugar for a week.

Mishap #3: We do laundry together, but it takes awhile before I actually get around to hanging up all clean clothes.

While rummaging through the laundry basket the other day, I noticed a cute pair of shorts that presumably beloned to Gail. Soon after I put them on her bed, we realized that this little cotton-spandex number was not ours, but in fact, a pair of guy's Abercrombie & Fitch boxers.

They are slightly anatomically incorrect, but nonetheless, one of us is thoroughly enjoying these as pajama shorts. To protect the innocent (or rather, guilty) party from online humiliation, we'll leave that to speculation.

La Reverenda?

Though public opinion has no authority on whether or not women should be pastors, Michelle and I asked our readers’ opinion and came up with the answer that women can be pastors, though only over women and children.

Thank you to all who voted! Gender philosophy is something Michelle and I have been discussing and it was great to hear feedback.

This week--something a little more lighthearted: How old y’all think Michelle and I will be when we get married.

Blah-Malah Pipeline

Blah-Malah (noun): A girl who has taken a surf board to the face and can't talk.
While the girls in Blue Crush are certainly not blah-malahs, Michelle and I are sure that both of us would be if we tried to surf. We opted to watch the movie instead.

Michelle: Often I scoff at staged movie lines that are way too perfect to be actual dialogue. But Blue Crush confirmed why screenwriters do that -- because actual spoken English, such as that in this movie -- sounds completely inane.

Nondescript dialogue aside, Blue Crush did amazing things with underwater camera work. I even watched the special features to find how they got those breathtaking shots from inside the tube.

But overall, this surfer-chick flick -- and the heroine's improbable rendezvous-turned-relationship with a chiseled NFL quarterback -- is about as shallow as a tidepool.

Gail : Oh that I could have arms like Kate Bosworth. Blue Crush tries to provide enough glamor footage of four bodacious surfer girls to make up for lack of a substantial story line. The beautiful surf, cool camera angles and suspenseful surfing sequences almost pulled it off, but sorry guys, it was just too predictable.
Anne Marie (Kate Bosworth) surfs Hawaii's coast at dawn, works as a housekeeping maid by day and....eventually sells her soul to a rich NFL dude at night. Trouble arises when her sister, Penny, skips school and hangs out with the wrong crowd. Anne Marie tries to correct her sister's life while she herself tries to decide what to do with hers. If hot girls in bikinis and oh-so-clique “do what you were born to do” dialogue does it for you, then go rent this 2002 movie. (Grimace alert: Beware of obese, speedo-clad men)

Hellacious

Gail: Oh that Michelle could drive like Jason Bourne--then she'd be perfect. The Bourne Ultimatum, the last in the Bourne trilogy, was a thrilling ride that kept Michelle and me on the edge of our dollar theatre seats for the entire two hours.

Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) is James Bond (notice the initials) sans the sex, language and tacky special effects. Grossing 220 million, the movie commanded an intelligent mix of CIA operative chases, politics and ethical decisions.

Michelle:This flick’s got the three components of a bona fide crowd pleaser – a doomsday CIA scheme, a few over-the-top car stunts and Matt Damon.

I hadn’t seen parts one and two of the Bourne series. But there’s so much karate, gun battling and shaky camera movement in this latest installment that I’m convinced I could speak a Slavic language and still comprehend the entirety of the plot.

Bourne Ultimatum is dazzling, mesmerizing, and graciously free of arbitrary sexual tension. For $2, you don’t get much better than this.

NoHo: Fun in Rain or Shine (or Soap)

I thought I was content watching everyone else have fun.

However, once I realized I had the serene, laid back face of a mom watching her kids play in the pool, I knew I had to go in. I'm not grown up, yet.
Heck no.

North Horton had a slip'n slide on the front lawn that was graciously organized by Nate Mitchell, our AS senator.

It was awesome!

You can't beat music, burgers, soap, water and tarp combined. All that plus awesome Horton people? I'm there.

Michelle unfortunately had a Chimes meeting, but she showed up later for food and conversation.

This is the simple college fun people talk about.

The People Have, Once Again, Spoken

This week's poll was a nail-biter. It came down to the wire, but fortunately our loyal readers were quick to offer their submissions on one of life's pressing little questions:

Do Gail and Michelle look like sisters?

The people have spoken, and we are proud to offer the democratically-decided results.

YES.

(as in, yes, Gail and I do look like sisters. According to 66% of readers.)

Thank you, and please vote again. It is your patriotic duty.

A Weekend with Base (Our Dorm Floor)

Santa Barbara floor retreat. That's where Gail and I were this past weekend. Although it would take a lot of time to describe the entire event, we hope to provide you soon, dear reader, with a rundown of some of the highlights of our expedition. They include, but are not limited to:

- Encounters (through the glass) with a transient who made his bed outside the church in which we were sleeping.

- The tale of the Burning Bug (along the same vein as the burning bush, although it occurred significantly later and was somewhat less supernatural)

- The Life and Times of Dennis, the mystery maverick we met when Gail lost her ID card, a guy tracked us down, and we had to retrieve it from a Camarillo Taco Bell.

Sinners Sit in the Front

It's easy come, easy go, right? The "sinners" usually sit in the back of the church, but at Our Lady of the Angels Cathedral, it was just the opposite. Arriving about 5 minutes after the service had started, our tardy crew was marched up to the front pews as Cardinal Mahony looked on from his stained wood throne.

Michelle and I--both fairly new to Catholic services--looked on intently while at the same time trying to take in the design of the new cathedral. I stumbled through what little of the Apostle's Creed I remembered from my Foundations of Christian Thought class and tried to guess the next words of the liturgy. The real hard part, however, was when we went to take communion. Following the middle aisle queue to the front, we went to the nearest sacrament giver and stared blankly. I'm sure I saw an amused smirk on the eyes of my priest as he gave me a blessing and put the wafer in my mouth.

After we got our bread, neither Michelle nor I knew where to go next and we accidentally converged on the wine lady at the same time. I walked up to the small grandma (I'm sure she was) as she was wiping the spit off the rim goblet from the person before. Great. "Dude, I'm actually supposed to drink from this?" Michelle and I both peered into the cup until Grandma put our hands on the cup and started tilting. Bradley, who was looking on from the front row, was highly amused.

Though the communion was slightly unnerving, I really enjoyed the service a lot more than I expected to. Cardinal Mahony, recently known for allegedly neglecting the punishment of sex-offenders in the Catholic priesthood, was very down to earth in his message on forgiveness. The scripture passages were beautiful, the choir was stunning, and the sermon challenge hit home.

I found myself being happy in the fact that my God is one of....JOY! I'm so glad I can come into his presence without ceremony and praise Him.

Michelle in the Cardinal's chair.

Muy Sabrosa: Dia de Independencia Mexicana

The multicultural escapade continued this week as we ventured to Olvera St., one of the oldest neighborhoods in L.A. (est. 1825). It was Mexican Independence Day today, and we thought it only fitting to celebrate with a mariachi band and enchiladas.

We decided that this afternoon, we would speak solamente espanol. Claire, who just studied abroad in Costa Rica, is pretty much our resident Spanish expert and latinophile. She took care of prayer time and helped us order at El Paseo when we were having trouble conjugating on the fly.

Other highlights included shopping, checking out the latest fashions and looking like bona fide tourists.