This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse

Sports Illustrated had a column about ironic signs of the times. Why can't Skippy?

"President Emeritus Clyde Cook Receieves Honorary Doctorate from APU"

Santa Claus is Coming to Town

We wanted to end our semester together with a bang -- perhaps a trip to the Disney Concert Hall or some other downtown L.A. venue. Unfortunately, life got in the way -- in the form of a 5-page paper for my Marine Mammals class and some extensive packing.

So we went on a whirlwind trip of La Mirada instead, finding as many inflatable Santas and/or polar bear wannabe Santas) as possible. And good news -- we successfully completed the mission without provoking any responses from local chapters of the Neighborhood Watch.

Meet the 2008 Audi A5

Thank you, readers, for helping us make the difficult decision of choosing a future replacement for my 2000 Ford Taurus. You have chosen wisely -- Audis have always topped Gail and my wish list.

Below are some triumphant shots of the glorious Audi A5. Keep in mind that the pictures will probably not be an accurate representation of our prospective vehicle. According to our calculations, it's going to take us approximately 16 years to write enough Chimes articles to buy this thing. By then, we'll probably opt for the model with wings.

Our LUCKY DAY!!!!!!!!

Gail and I had pretty much the luckiest day of our young lives.

The day started out with Gail keeled over, blow-drying her hair upside down and me stressing out about a Spanish assignment. Suddenly, my pink Chocolate phone joined the cacaphony with its grating ring.

Definitely an inconvenience. Especially when the screen read "Restricted Number."

But alas, I answered it. It turned out to be Pam from the Dow Jones Newspaper Fund. I had applied for an internship last month, and Pam was calling to see if I would accept it!!!

I couldn't believe it. I started waving frantically at Gail as she furiously typed away at her computer. She knew the drill. Only an internship could make a resident of room 212 so ecstatic.

Sure enough, I committed right then and there -- to an 11-week paid summer internship sponsored by the Dow Jones Fund and Yahoo News. I will be editing online content at, of all places, South Dakota's premiere newspaper -- the Argus Leader -- in Sioux Falls.

Random location, but I am so thrilled about it that throughout the day, I have spontaneously burst into joyful hysterics.

As if the day couldn't get any better, I received a phone call from Gail during my Torrey session. Unfortunately, one is not advised to answer calls during a session, so Gail persisted with three more calls.

When I finally walked back into room 212, I was met with none other than Gail -- in her own set of hysterics.

It turns out that she received a friendly little note in her email inbox this afternoon -- from one of the WORLD'S BEST PR FIRMS!!!! It was one of her dream internships ... and now they're knocking on her door inviting her for an interview. If accepted, she would work with clients like Universal Studios Home Entertainment / HD-DVD.

Needless to say, today was our lucky day. Gail has yet to confirm her interview and dream internship with Weber Shandwick, but the possibility is "thrilling," she says.

And we ended our day off with a Ho-ho-Horton all hall event, in which we got to sing Christmas carols. One particular verse stood out:

"We come to make His blessings known, far as the curse is found, far as the
curse is found, far as the curse is found."

I think that will be our theme phrase for these internships...

Choose a replacement for Michelle's 2000 Ford Taurus

Mazda 6Audi A5
Lexus SC 430
Mercedes E-Class

Santa Baby

Thank you, dear readers, for your voting diligence.

The results are in on this week's poll, which addressed what Gail and Michelle ought to expect under the Christmas tree this year. In descending order, readers thought we need:

1. Matching penguin pajamas (or at least something better than Abercrombie & Fitch boxers)
2. Airfare to Seattle
3. A new digital camera (one that won't delete photos of Jenna, Rebecca and I with the biggest journalistic celebrity we've ever encountered)
4. One pair of socks to share
5. Lump of coal (one spiteful reader thought so)

The Health and Fitness Column

It's been a great semester with the Chimes -- especially the chance to write my very own health and fitness column, since I'm such an expert in the field anyway.

Gail, who typically assists me in choosing a subject for health and fitness, was throwing around some ideas for my final column EVER (since I'll be going to Costa Rica next semester). Here were our top 8 ideas.

1. Ingrown toenails: how to cure the problem with just a switchblade and scalpel

2. Warts: treatments involving duct tape (Gail has firsthand experience here)

3. Halitosis: alternative breathing techniques to use after garlic fries

4. Mono: how to save your relationship when you've got the kissing disease

5. Athlete's foot: how to put the fun back in fungus

6. Psoriasis: learn to embrace your chronic skin disorder by going sleeveless

7. "Bacne" (back+acne): hints for bacne-friendly swimwear

8. Lice: advanced dorm fumigation techniques

Club Intrepid

When you're squashed like sardines in the back of your brother's Dodge Intrepid and Fall Out Boy is on max volume, you have but one option -- DANCE.

This is how me, David (my bro Ryan's friend) and Gail pass the time during a 7 hour drive back to So Cal.

Homemade Slingshot

Michelle shot her first gun (see earlier post) and this is me shooting my first rock over the Sierras with a homemade nylon string.

Kaplan Word Power

On the way up to Michelle's grandparents' house we decided to kill time by learning vocabulary words from the R (for Rindels) section of the Kaplan Word Power book left over from Michelle's SAT studying days. We practiced by making up sentences about our surroundings.

The repartee in the minivan was spirited though slightly recondite. The recalcitrant boys in the back seat were reticent to participate, but rather exposed themselves as raffish reprobates. In this area, the boys are likely to be ribald recidivists. We got through one section of the redoubtable book before the hunger for Thanksgiving meal routed our concentration and we fell into a state of quiescence.