After a painfully hilarious conversation, Michelle and I have compiled a short list of our favorite fashion pet peeves. Girls, if you can't bring yourself to confront your brother or boyfriend on their fashion crimes, just send them this way.
1.) Lizard Hunting Sandals
You've probably heard that sandals and socks are uncool. Michelle and I are going to take it a step further and make things bit more specific and simple: just don't wear these kind of sandals, period. We don't know what they're called, so we've dubbed them the "lizard hunting sandals" because they're definitely for nature nerds. Common offenders for this one tend to be very stubborn and/or hopeless.
2.) More hair gel=more sexy At least that's what this guy seems to think.
Considering the fact that the Mexican population is still increasing in the States, I am seriously considering investing in hair gel as it appears it is (still) quite popular in the Hispanic male population. While I'm looking forward to my guaranteed fortune, there are some drawbacks that only a full force grassroots campaign can correct.
Drawbacks:
1.) It looks greasy and dirty while at
the same time making your head look disproportionately large (see left photo). I suppose this could be similar to when male birds fluff out their feathers to appear larger in their mating dances.
2.) The "I heart hair gel" look definitely diminishes chances of someone (anyone) running their fingers through your hair.
3.) You could lose your job. A dude named John Graham got suspended from his job at the London airport for using too much hair gel.
Michelle's interjection: a bit of gel is a very good thing. As seen below, a dab can significantly improve a gentleman's prospects with a lady and simultaneously contribute to his
marksmanship.
3.) A beard is worth a thousand words
Beards are basically billboards that can communicate one of two things: a) Yes, I still spend less money on cosmetics than my girlfriend or b) Maybe if I just grow a distinguished beard, nobody will notice that I haven't applied deodorant in 3 days.
A beard done right is a rare thing indeed, although the
New York Times seems to think it's the latest and greatest way to assert masculinity against a wave of metro fashions.
Keep in mind, however, that the beard may not be the best policy among the ladies. I'll let this Psychology Today article excerpt speak to that:
Our results reflected the current cultural preference for clean-shaven
faces. Sixty percent of male respondents were cleanshaven, 21 percent had a
mustache only, 19 percent had a beard and mustache. Less than 1 percent had a
beard without a mustache.
Men guessed correctly that women would prefer clean-shaven men. Yet while only 14 percent of women overall named "beard with
mustache" as their first choice, 55 percent of women whose partner had a beard
ranked it first. Once again, women may have brought their judgment in line with
their partner.
Most of the comments about facial hair were about beards, and
the positive ones were about neatly trimmed beards. Women tended to associate poorly groomed or neglected beards with generalized slovenliness. The goatee was singled out for derision.